Am I still sugar free? No, not today. But most of the time, yes I am.
I'm sitting on the couch feeling quite sick and sorry for myself. Did I have to indulge in a slice of cake and a sweet today? Most people may wonder, is it such a big deal? To me, no, it is not a big deal to indulge in a piece of cake that a friend of mine had gone to the effort of making and it was part of todays celebration, but my body just can't handle it. I feel so sick and mentally, I feel like shit for eating it because it makes me feel crap. The sugar blues.
It has been many months since my husband and I decided to keep processed sugar out of the house and out of our lives. Overall, we've made some very positive changes to our lives and are benefiting from the side effects. We have more energy, have slowly lost some weight, have our taste buds back and we no longer have sugar highs or sugar blues. The problem is that when the time comes for us to have a piece of cake or something sweet as part of a celebration, our bodies just aren't used to it and we get major highs (and headaches) and major blues. This rollercoaster sugar ride lasts for days and days. I normally get a headache straight away, have a bit of a high then I get the sugar blues a few hours later. The days that follow are testing. My body craves sugar big time and I have to fight it for about a week before I"m really over it. A pretty crappy cycle really.
Easter has just passed and I think that was my undoing. The Easter Bunny kindly limited his chocolate to 1 egg, 1 bunny and a few small eggs for our daughter instead giving her art and craft bunny activities. I ate a few small eggs with my daughter and I feel soooooooooooooooo addicted to it now. Every day I have to make a conscious decision not to buy or eat something sweet. It's hard. I feel like I’m starting from the start.
As for my daughter Ruby, I've definately relaxed more with her. I was finding that she was eating so well here and always wanting to go to other houses knowing she'd get fed the crap - no matter how much I protested. I've learnt that although I can control what she eats in our house, I have to accept that she is 4 years old, attends day care and is surrounded by sugar laden treats that if she doesn't get from me, she'll get from someone else. So instead, I've. relaxed by giving her some dark organic chocolate every now and then and letting her slowly enjoy the chocolate from Easter. I still talk about it with her and she knows how I feel about it, but I'm just trying to find a balance. I'm really just trying to educate her knowing that one day she'll make her own choice.
Tonight I will go to bed with a book in my hand. A book about sugar addiction. It is the most effective way of keeping me off the stuff. Reading about the life threatening effects of sugar motivates me to keep off it - so tonight the reading light will be on!!!
